Inpatient!

Not the type when I can’t wait for other people to do stuff, the type where I go live in a hospital.

Yup. I’m on a waiting list for this: http://www.camh.net/About_CAMH/Guide_to_CAMH/Mental_Health_Programs/Mood_and_Anxiety_Program/guide_inpatient_unit.html

In one sense, it’s a relief. Maybe I’ll get some attention to the whole binge/purge thing as it’s currently my number one issue. Sure, the anxiety is shit – but maybe if I find healthier ways to cope it won’t be such an issue.  It’ll give me a chance to be probed over by some of the best in the field of mood disorders and perhaps readjust the diagnoses. I’ve become quite accustomed to being Bipolar II, not Clinical Depression as a previous (and 10 years prior) hospitalization had given me. I’m not attached to it by any means though – I just want the words to fit a treatment that works.  I know I’m not ok, I know it’s not just misbehavior for some devious reason, and I hope these people can help me fix it.

Hopefully they sort out the drug mess. I can’t imagine needing to be on so many. Maybe the sleep and weight will all just fall into place gracefully…Well, a girl can dream.

It’ll be my first time in hospital that wasn’t through the ER or ICU.  I wonder how I can save my mother the heart attack in telling her. Suggestions?